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Here go my completely unbiased (haha well I guess you have to be biased somewhat when you pick awards) awards for pro, iml, and aml. We'll have a broad range of categories and overall will try to encompass a whole lot and as little as possible in the same sense. This is for regular season not for post season so that all squads can have a chance.
Best Squad
Pro: Assassins 11-3
I just like Assassins better than BIA. Assassins just get to work and do it fast. If they are going to lose you can count it happening fast, and if they are going to win you can count on it being even faster. Besides they have everyone's favorite speccer a pez to listen to when you watch a game which is a unique pleasure in itself.
Runners-Up
BIA 12-2
Sure they have a better record, but they aren't that much fun. Matches get long, players get talky, and then well who cares its BIA. They can be the Rodney Dangerfield of premir times. No Respect.
IML: RedShift 12-2
Sure IML isn't even over yet, but go RS go. I like them the best because every game can be a fun little anagram and who doesn't love word puzzles? What was that squad going to be called again...can't remember but it was good and defintely axed by staff. More loyalty and fun in this squad than you can count speckles on a wall. RedShift prevails as everyone's favorite squad to ream their ass in IML.
Runers-Up:
Money 12-2
Okay same record, but then again its Money. A bunch of kids that should be in pro and lots of speculation on what they are doing and why we have to put together super squads. Well who cares, their aliases aren't as much as RedShifts to find out, because well RedShift's are anagrams.
AML: Tweaked 12-1
Tweaked is no the tweaked you saw last season. In fact its barely even the same people...I think their entire roster save a few are new people, but god they are funny. No one really knows how they win so often or dominate everyone. I mean sure DukeHazard and Savage are good...but when Br'er owns you in lanc something is wrong. They just mesh well and have extremely good leadership and decision making abilities. Tweaked is a power house push offense that very few squads can put up a fight against without getting sperated. There's nothing in AML that really compares to it.
Overall Dissent/Assent Combo
Assent and Dissent both have very good rosters and aliases galore. Its hard to argue that with a squad's talent when they can split and still have depth in both rosters and still be top 4 in both leagues. Entertainmen & Miner and company have their shit together and are doing an excellent job at making Dissent a squad to be feared in chaos.
Most Valuable Players
Pro: Three - Prescense 40-14
Three gets the MVP even though he doesn't have the best record solely because of how powerful of an asset he is. If a play needs to be made, three is there to make it. He does have one MCP, but it shouldn't matter that much as he has made pivotal plays over 18 times according to MasterRater. A verifiable killing machine, for the first time in history three comes first.
Runner Ups
Underlord - Prescense 21-1
Well here's another prescense guy that performs extremely well. Its a mystery to me how they can lose at all with these 2, but then again 2 pilots don't make a squad. Underlord is your solid bet not pick up an MCP. In fact, he's your solid bet to not even die. Whether its because he subs out or not, it doesn't seem to matter as he has 21 scalps under his belt and one mere kill against him. Underlord and three playing together is scary, but I tend to value three more as he tends to come up with the big plays while Underlord attempts to not die.
IML:
cdb! - Mutiny 21-6
There would be hardly a Mutiny in IML if it wasn't for cdb!. cdb! is a devestating player and combos well with Testify to bring in the big plays. Aside from the Dissent rolling of Mutiny, cdb! has been a major player to contend with. With 4 squad MVP's and several clutch plays he tends to be the man to go to make a play happen. He may not be number 1 in stats on masterrater, but he makes his team what it is by being there.
LAF I OWND U - Reshift 29-9/Dr Lee Epstien - RedShift 31-13
They don't seem to be a seperate entity. In fact they, seem to be the same pilot. Each has a nice record with a similar ratio and each has an early choke out in a major game. Now the question is which is better? Well I guess I'd have to go with a foul wind over el presidente. Mainly because I think it'd piss EP off more if I picked afw than vice versa. Without either of these guys I have a feeling RedShift would be rolled more often than they already were. They seem to be the combo behind the team.
Runner Ups
Nova - Money 24 -11
Someone from Money had to be on here. A squad of strong pilots that really needed to be in pro, money overpowered almost all of IML. Nova would have to be one other clutch players because he seems to be where he should be at all times and tends to make the big plays when the big plays need to be made. Well I guess Money isn't in the spot to need big plays so lets just say that Nova gets a lion's share of the kills early on.
Janus Zeal - Dissent 27-6
Ahh miner. What can be said about miner? Well without him Dissent can still fall back on Big BANGER or Fatal, but without him I do feel that they wouldn't be quite as strong. Miner always seems to push the team forward and lead the offense. I guess he seems to lead the play on the field and tends to get the kills more often than the deaths. For this reason he shines above his teams other stars.
designator - Birds of Prey 28-20
This is the one true deserving player that if a squad was without they would be in trouble. He doesn't have the best record, nor does his squad, but without him BoP wouldn't have inked out over 500. He is a clutch player worthy of any team's starting roster in IML and is easily the largest target on BoP for squads to target to break up their offense. I hate to say it but without him BoP would be nothing.
AML: Savage - Tweaked 32-6
Savage is prehaps the best captain and pilot in AML. When he plays he performs, when he doesn't his team still wins. He went from above average last season as Taim to super star as Savage. Not much can be said about him. I haven't seem him be an idiot once nor have I seen him ever so much as even minorly choke. A captain that understands that without his team improving he can go nowhere, and a captain that realizes he can come in and change the game Savage is 100% the best in AML. No one close. A leader in and out of the game who truly understands how to put together and play a squad.
Runner Ups
More Majorum - Liquid Inc 26-3
Totally replaced majorum with Malmox in mind. I forget. So everything if you read earlier was about Malmox. However, Majorum is the offensive leader of Liquid Inc and tends to make the plays and play as the pivot ship. When a play needs to be made ...which is alot for the low scoring Liquid Inc, Majorum usually is that go to guy that sweeps up the clutch. My way bad, sorry. Malmox is good too, but needs work on his captaining skills. He did improve as I reffed a bunch of their games and saw how he started to learn the rules the hard way.
Grills Gone Wild - Fighting Foodons 31-9
Why Grills? Why not Pasta for Foodons? Well quite simply pasta lags out and dies too much. GGW tends to play as solidly as any player can in the craziness that has become AML. Grills tends to make every crucial play when it needs to be made and never to let the other team play a key one off of him.
Most Improved Squad-
Pro: FuN! 7-2
FuN! was fairly good in the previous season, but they are even more solid this season. They had a compelete revamp and seem to be doing fairly well. With the only returners being Dioxide and his KKK (that'd be Kyll, Kane, and KURT). He seems to fair well picking up several solid players from all around that can hold their own. Overall there wasn't that much improvement, but it is a much more player friendly roster with the loss of life, neacsu. The one that should hurt that most would be the loss of Underlord and Zei, but instead of falling down they have stepped up without the aid of any particuarly super strong pilots.
IML: Birds of Prey 7-6
They weren't IML last season, but the season before that they were hardly AML. Tounted last season as AML favorites they quickly plummeted after a few bad recruiting decisions..mainly the acquisition of Dark Hour which helped to undo a tenative merger between BoP and Abnocto Pestis. Hands down they were supposed to be good and then their knees buckled constantly every weekend. Enter this season. They are now doing better in IML than they did in AML. And even more surprisingly its the a very similar roster to what they had last season losing really only the bad elements ...read further: Gig and Dark Hour. A few new players have entered, but they mesh it fairly well. If Sumi can quit recruiting duds, they could see an IML championship season in the future.
AML:Happy Mob 9-4
They vastly improved their play talent, roster, and record. A lot attrituble this to their roster, but their players all improved as well. Bushes and crumbs both have risen from scrub to a true AML talent. Its for this reason that they are the most improved AML squad and not because of their roster which was just some creative recruiting in picking up gaara, phixion, simonsays, et al.
Runner Ups
Wretcheds 9 - 4
I called it from game 5 that they won that Wretcheds was not as good as everyone speculated. A lot of squads choked against them and they really weren't that great. They practiced fairly bad and seemed to get error after error in their favor. If anything I'd say they were the luckiest squad out there in AML. However, their teamwork and playing skills improved greatly from last season when they were a mediocre squad struggling for a playoffs spot. Undefeated until make up round they proved their true mettle after losing 4 games in a row.
Epik 8-5
Okay these honkies really did improve, but sadly its more of a few select people over a whole squad. They have good teamwork for their play combo's F|E|A|R/|E|AR and passplay/sug. Their other players however you just rarely see and when you do they fail to impress. But to go from near bottom of AML to near top is impressive. If they lose one or part of one of their combos I don't see next season holding as well as this one did.
The What the Fuck Award
Pro:DOMINATION
Okay I have an idea, lets take a squad with a bunch of old names that hold countless pro championships..well not countless but way more than is worth figuring out and then lets forfiet and quit. The apparent answer to the loss of Interpid was this all-star squad to dominate pro. Even the name said it, but then they go and no show and you know what....its not like its no names.. zei, Zeit, A-Poc, nivaG, JohnDoe...did they all die? Did they finally get a life? Or is there something more sinster a foot. OMG there it is right there on the roster Spy. No wonder they're all gone.
IML: IML
IML is too pious. I can't come up with a thing that really fucked up in it except for the fact that Happy Mob is doing better in IML than AML. Well whatever, I'm sure I missed something, but come on what the fuck IML controversy is what you need!
AML: Deathknight
An extremely strong preseason Heaven was an easy pick to win AML or at least their division. Then it happened. Foodons threw a game and then had an amazing win the next week in a rematch and talked enough shit to Deathknight to get him to retire for like the 3rd time I've personally seen this year. Then he comes back on aliased on Alcoholism as Destructive Nature, brought them wins made alcies a favorite to win it all and then was shocked and appalled that staff would think it was him despite mid and ip matches. Well alcies get forfieted and slowly but surely almost fall apart. Deathknight still admantly denies it was him, but hey maybe it wasn't....and maybe OJ is innocent. To Deathknight...what the fuck?
Overall Vorbis
This one is still not even played out, but Vorbis wins the overall "What the fuck award" for all of premier. For those who don't know Spitfire nts'ed in a playoff match and 0nether appealed it. Refs (blur) didn't catch it at time because MR was down and well maybe blur is sadistic. Well it gets more fun because the team Spitfire plays for wins and of course Onethervoid appeals. Well at this point Vorbis who must think himself invicible or be stupid (and I'm leaning towards the latter) gets the name 0nethervoid+ and retracts 0nether+'s appeal. All I can say is ...that's fucking hilarious and "What the fuck" where you thinking.
Mr/Mrs Congeniality
Pro: Spitfire
Spitfire has arguably the most bigotted and crude website you can have without pictures of dead babies, diseases, and of course the KKK lynching some friendly african americans or jews. With meer words alone he has managed to distinguish himself apart. www.scottishjihad.com is a great read for the whole family. Beyond that spitfire brings his great ramblings and idiocy into subspace for all of to enjoy when we aren't reading the website. Unfortunately spitfire may not be around for awhile which will sadden us all.
IML: Semi
Semi wins this over El Presidente and some of the other IML yahoos solely because he manages to bridge the gap. We all swooned over his "I'm not that queer ass Sumi" post that made it into the AML forum months ago, and who can't help but love being called a cock lover by some random guy named Semi because you're playing a game. It bring a tear to my eye and I'm sure everyone else's everytime he manages to post something on the IML forum about how the orginal poster or some other person that replied to it is a poser/chaos whore/AML yard trash/hypocrite. So here's to the answer to all our problems - Semi. Ms IML Congenality.
AML: High Voltage
High Voltage has become such a staple in subspace nowawdays that there is even High Voltage-ease. You know you hit the big leagues when people can say "stop talking like HV."...and everyone knows what it means. STFU YAMS GG SONNED PWNED $$. Just a few of the many words that HV repeadetly posts on anything and everything. Season after season he talks of the next season's surprise squad that never comes around and then he hops on some squad before getting kicked off. So why an award? Is it the verbal stylings...or perhaps the constant posting...or maybe it lies with the countless aliases that are outed for the most part without half an hour of being created...then again it could be his self proclaimed ownership of all things premier along side his Team $$...or it could just be 8========D~.
Best Predictor/Rambler
Pro: life
When you talk about talking shit, the name life usually comes to mind at some point. Well life isn't the number 1 Pro predictor, but he does have the ability to pick the winner more often than any others, even in close games. Not much really to say here as the predicting in pro is fairly weak and usually gets torn apart with posts such as "life loves the cock".
IML: Random.
Random's well random ramblings on IML boards seem to be at least a fun read. The reason he wins in his division over some of the other predictors is his take on different subjects and his willingness to call out aliases. If only we had someone like him in AML that would tear apart squads such as Timeless.
AML: Cashew
Yes yes. Total bias here, but I am leading in the MasterRater prediction venue and have under my belt Haiku and yes picture predictions. Eat it up. ~73% correct prediction rate for over 180 games is pretty good so latte freaking da!
What a MONEY read. Good work Cashew. THanks for the advice, I won't recruit Canadian teenagers anymore:P
Posted by: Sumi at October 26, 2003 04:02 AMHAHAHA cashew $$ as for your comments about me ill take that as a huge compliment for i learned how to play while on alco. (see my wb) as for denying it i dont anymore for demishadow cose and passplay have had long talks with me about my behavior and a netban is hanging over my head. so ill behave from now on and be a good little player. Cya after AML finals everyone :)
Posted by: DeathKnight at October 26, 2003 07:36 AM1) I didnt play last season, so i can't be most improved player.
2) I'm not captain, I don't care nor decide who starts for my team.
get your facts straight please :)
Posted by: more majorum at October 26, 2003 10:30 AMhaha I win again.. $$ ELITE read Cashew.. Team $$ rules.
Posted by: High Voltage at October 26, 2003 12:59 PMOoops sorry majorum I mistook you for Malmox for some reason. I blame weed.
Posted by: Cashew at October 26, 2003 01:24 PM"...but when Br'er owns you in lanc something is wrong."
Sigh, why does something have to be wrong? Why can't i just be good in a lanc?
Posted by: Br'er at October 26, 2003 10:20 PMhaha i should be predictor of the year....i am in top 3 of both aml and iml
Posted by: BigBanger at October 27, 2003 02:15 AMBecause the fact is you are not good in a lancaster and it requires little to no skill to get kills in it.
Point prooven, you suck.
Posted by: High Voltage at October 28, 2003 11:31 AMhigh five cashew, good job.
Posted by: Miner at October 28, 2003 09:02 PMHV you try getting into the top 20 being in a lancaster... its not easy to get kills in, in fact it is very difficult to use in the proper fashion. you could not even get into the top 200 using a warbird, so please, by all means use lanc and prove your point, till then kiss it...
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